No one wants their loved ones to suffer, and we try to do anything within our capacity to ensure their wellbeing. We even sacrifice our own desires at times to fulfill theirs. But despite our good intentions, these relationships still suffer at times. Does work take over, or do misunderstandings weaken the bond? Reasons can be many, but ultimately it can be boiled down to a disbalance problem.
The Four Burners of Life
The ultimate constraint of life we operate against is limited time. This makes it seem like we cannot be a high performer across all important domains in life and being extraordinary in one comes at the cost of under-performing in another.
This view is well explained by the Four Burners Theory, which looks at life as a gas stove with four burners. One burner represents our family, one is our friends, the third is our health, and the fourth is our work. Now, to be successful in life, we need to cut off one of these burners. And in order to be really successful, we must cut off two. Otherwise, all the burners will continue at medium flame forever.
And the sad part is that many people actually live an unbalanced life in this manner. Some have a successful career but unstable relationships, while others have everything but health.
But having come this far in the Kosmik journey, you already have the tools to build your own solution. We explore some possible ways here.
Sacrifice, But Wisely
Sacrifices are a part of life, but it is our choice to decide what we sacrifice. And from Pareto’s 80/20 principle, we know that not all choices are equal. Why not focus on a few essentials while delegating or deleting the rest?
Some actions you can take to free up time are:
Avoid meetings where you have zero participation, so you can invest the time on what matters
Get a babysitter to keep your mind free from worries while at work
Delegate non-essential work to subordinates at work
Split household responsibilities so no one gets overburdened
The time thus saved can be allocated to more essential tasks, like spending time with family, getting meaningful work done faster, etc.
Ride the Waves
We know that our bodies are tuned to do certain things at specific times, like work in the day and sleep at night. Going against this flow can be an uphill battle but if we ride these waves, we can do everything easily.
Let’s see how this can help us live a balanced life by not trying to balance everything at the same time.
1. Zoomed in: Daily
Plan your day in harmony with the circadian rhythm
Use time-blocking to schedule your tasks and be as effective as possible
When a time block starts, get immersed in the planned task and forget everything else
This will get you the most out of your day without a feeling of missing out or one task creeping up into another
2. Zoomed out: Life
Just like the circadian rhythm guides our day, aging guides our life
We can go all-in for health and career during our 20s to early 30s before getting kids and after that, we can prioritize the family and friends
With just 2-3 priorities at a given life phase, we can create exceptional gain in whatever we put our focus on
As we shift from one phase to another, the previous ones don’t have to go away, but just operate with medium intensity
The duration of time-blocks or life phases can be customized, but the idea is that our choices can turn the limitation of time either into a constraint, or a catalyst.
Never Too Late to Take Responsibility
In the end, the path to individuation is the path of balance. We can bring out all we are into consciousness only by experiencing different aspects of our psyche. But this cannot be achieved by running away from specific aspects of human experience, like work or family. We need to take responsibility.
Revisit your life roles & goals, as planned earlier in the Star of Spirit, and which part are you underplaying. As long as you are up for the challenge, it is never too late to give your best. Remember, it is the process that matters, not the results.