Saying “yes” to an important task means saying “no” to everything else. But most people feel uncomfortable saying “no.” Why?

An evolutionary reason behind it seems to be that thousands of years back when humans lived as hunter-gatherers in the wild, a “yes” vs “no” could decide whether we got the safety of our tribe or ended up being eaten by a tiger. But this old conditioning sits so deep in our brains that it forgets that the times have changed. Today, we are bombarded by requests seeking our attention, from messages to sales pitches, and a “yes” vs “no” can decide the difference between a stressful or a calm life. As author James Clear said, “No is a decision. Yes is a responsibility. Be careful what (and who) you say yes to. It will shape your day, your career, your family, your life.”

When author Greg McKeown pursued the question, "What holds capable driven people from breaking through to the next level?" the surprising answer was "success." Success breeds so many opportunities that we lose focus from the essentials that got us success in the first place. In fact, you should read his book Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less for more on the art of doing less.

For now, let us just look at how saying “No” brought fulfillment to Kay Krill, the former CEO of brands LOFT, and Ann Taylor. She tells:

I got the advice, “you have to jettison the people and things out of your life that don’t matter and focus on what’s meaningful for you.” I can’t tell you how liberating that advice was to me. In order to do what I do every day—run a company, run a family, be a great mother and great friend—you have to focus on what’s important. I don’t love the statement: Women can’t have it all. Nobody can have it all! Men or women. But you can have what you want if you focus on it and figure it out.

 

I used to say yes to everything. Now I easily say no to things that don’t matter to me, personally and professionally. You really find out who your true friends are on a leadership journey—the ones who are really there to support you and cheer you on.

Greg tells that we can all figure out the essentials if we give it time to think. The time required for planning may vary, from 30 minutes to even an hour. And while doing less might seem like a recipe for a bad reputation at work, the disciplined pursuit of less increases the value and meaning of the work you do, and hence people associate you with great quality, while the undisciplined pursuit of more will bring down your focus, increase your stress, and things are likely to fall apart.

You can learn more from Greg’s interview here: